DNOStallone

Occasionally, memories of an unwanted past, echo through my mind and haunt my every step into the future. I’ve often tried to live in denial of these events in my life but the pain seems never to ease. I’ve tried to move on towards an optimistic future but broken friendships, misunderstandings and painful experiences pull me back to the past. Inside I’m screaming to be set free. I can not undo what has been done. I can not change what actions I have made, what feelings I have felt and I can not change what other people have felt towards me. As far as time has drifted me away from these events, only grow a dark hatred inside

What a tremendous weight to be lifted; A wholly satisfying sense of personal achievement. That crippling fear, That had ruled over me For so many a dark year. Images and sounds haunt, Attached to every fear I hold onto. Instilled deep during childhood. I didn’t ever question the birth, of the psychological damage, Far too young to be subject. Far too emotionally immature To register it Correctly. The planted seed grew distorted over time Imagination poisoned its bitter memory Grown into an internally captive Fearful beast. Finally, I took back control I submit myself to take it on Face to face. Confronted it, Out in the open. Co

Again I fall victim to myself; my own worst enemy, for trying to find reason. Making sense, to understand, Opposed to acceptance. Wanting to believe; to trust, to see good, through maturing, yet naive eyes. How can I learn lessons from circumstances and outcomes that do not compute? She pulls the wool over our eyes; leads us on. With hindsight, festering in my mind is the question; where is her gain, what has been achieved by her deceit? I find no rhyme nor reason in my mind. Not knowing leaves me with disappointment and unsettled with a degree of fear. I feel inspired, I write this poem I promise to be more perceptive I then move on...

It's her belly that I adore, taking clear precedence over the usual suspects, the areas desired foremost by most men, on a woman For it's history, its beauty, her unnecessary insecurity hidden bashfully, the soft round curves, delicate stretch mementos from my children when she amazingly carried them for nine months a time those many years ago. Gently stroking my hand around the warm soft flesh in various sized circles as we lay together across our bed. Vulnerable and exposed; I run my middle finger gently across her precious scar its absolute wonderment; proof of life where my daughters were born straight into our loving arms a gift I co

Something I feel I have come to understand; Everything has a price. Anything that seems to come freely will always end up costing you, in the end. Careful, when measuring the balance; emotional in-comings and outgoings. The gamble; the lesson learned must surely be greater than the pain inflicted. The compromise is, possibly the main ingredient for spiritual happiness; seeing that the gain is worth the sacrifice.

Is absolutely nothing sacred? Must childhood be ripped out from us all? Innocence corrupted, safety lost. Our inner child; molested then destroyed. I don't want protecting from this brutal truth. I am big enough, ugly enough to take it on the chin, but it is taking it's toll and rotting me deep within. We watched in awe, we idolized in our youthful minds. Naive and inspired; unaware of the shocking sick and painful truth going on behind the facade where is left to place our faith? who now can we ever trust? The closer we get the more the gold dust rubs off Disappointment; an understatement. How fucking dare he. How very fucking dare he.